hell yes lets make some ravioli
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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