Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
