im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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