you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You ruined the universe
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
