Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
