She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Those nachos came to me in a dream
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
