We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize