Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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