So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize
