So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize