Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Why are your pants in the freezer?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
