I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
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