Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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