look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
