Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
