I wanna bring you to show and tell
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize