Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
