you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize