My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
