i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
