And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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