You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
