Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
