everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
