Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
