also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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