My brain says no but my pants say off.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
