she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
