I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
This is the high leading the old right now
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
