If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
