Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize