he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
