So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
they need to just BURY HIM!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
