i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
The Olympian is in my bed
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
