Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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