Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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