Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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