did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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