dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
