I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Vodka?
Forever.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
