That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
