Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
