she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He shit in the fireplace
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
