hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
