honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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