never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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