Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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