I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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