Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We need to rekindle our bromance
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
