Don't you send me to vm
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
