I'm eating all of the evidence.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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