there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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