He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
