if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
