My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
