His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
